People often ask why I run distance. A comment about masochism or stupidity usually ends the conversation. But there is more to it. Running takes on a very hypnotic quality after repetitive pounding for several hours. The meditation of motion is all consuming and excess fades away.
Medical education is repetitive pounding as well. Looking back, my perspective is changing. During medical school and residency there is a strong feeling of inadequacy. The whole process seems unnecessarily difficult and cumbersome. The socratic method (fondly called "pimping" in the medical community) is the cornerstone of learning. It is at best a challenge and at worst humiliating. The sleep deprivation and workload pounds at one's soul day after day. There are sacrifices and bargains to struggle through.
I am finally sleeping and eating on a regular schedule. I no longer doze off during movies and have not had a migraine in two months. I realize now that the small parts of myself I gave up over the years were replaced with the qualities of a physician. Making life and death decisions at 4am will never be easy. The rigors of training make it possible to function during times of severe fatigue or uncertainty. Having enough reserve to finish the race requires discipline. The more mental and physical strain one is willing to endure, the more polished and sleek the results.
Apparently there is life on the other side of the rabbit hole.
